Blog Pimpage

It's that time of year again ladies and gentlemen. No, not some silly over-hyped holiday, I am talking REAL NEWS! This is the season of the world famous 2009 Drysdale Awards!!



I will pause for a moment while you collect yourselves, recover from the vapors, and possible change your pants...

That's right, the The 2009 Drysdale Awards put on by supreme blogger leader Grant Miller of Grant Miller Media is a yearly event (event seems inadequate of a term, lets go with phenomenon) and yours truly is up for the pestigeous "Blog with the Most Stolen Material" award.

While there are many other categories in the Drysdale awards, few have the luster, the hubris, dare I say the panache of "Blog with the Most Stolen Material".

I feel that this year I have earned this award. Nobody else spends more time scouring the internettubes than I in my constant quest to eviscerate the soft underbelly of the online world, just to find that one special video/story/joke.

I do it all for you people.

There is no end to my giving.

Also, I am a lazy troll who has no original ideas.

But mostly I am a giver, yeah, I am sticking with that one.

So get on over there and vote early and vote often. Make me proud!

Elephant Birth; or how I learned to kick my kid into the world.

This is a rather graphic video to watch, but I wanted to share it because I thought it was fascinating! Graphic footage of the first ever elephant birth filmed in Bali, Indonesia. The founder of the Elephant Safari Park at Taro, Bali, Nigel Mason talks us through the experience.

Bad Tat Tuesday: The Head Edition.

I wonder what it is that makes people want to put artwork on their head? Even if it is the best looking tat in the world, isn't it always just a bit distracting from the real you?

Perhaps it is the need to be different, or to make some sort of statement? I just don't know, nor do I get it. Even if a hiring boss is the most non-discriminating person in the world, I just don't think that some of these folks are getting the job.



From a London Tattoo convention, I admire the use of metal to go with the ink.



Same convention. The dude on the right looks like his eye is going to get eaten.



This is like one of those illusions that looks like it is moving.



Clever.


Mr. Bisected man. The Hello Kitty is a nice touch...



I'm not even certain what is on his forehead, but it looks like barbwire. Proof that there is somebody for everyone out there.



I wonder if Shaq has a dispute with this?



Perfect for frightening your kids to death.



I stand corrected. This is much more frightening.



Do his eyelids really say "Pure Sex"? I assume this is from several years ago...



Guy on the right sings "He ain't heavy, he's my brother" to himself a lot.



Wha wha wha wait a moment! She is really good looking!!

why?...

GET BACK TO WORK!!

Long weekend is over you bunch of slackers! Time to get on those TPS reports.


And... Uh yeah, I'm gonna need you to come in on Saturday...

Douchebag Solidarity

They are taking back the word people!

language and adult situations...

We Are Douchebags - watch more funny videos

Thankfulishcious

I am thankful for lots of things in my life. But one of the big things I am thankful for is all of the people that I have met out here since I started this little insane hole in the internettubes.

You have entertained me, made me laugh, made me cry, made me angry, and held me up when I was down.

You all rock.

Now go eat until you drift into a coma.

An open letter to Ms. "Fierce" in front of me at Starbucks

Hey bitch! Yeah you, Ms. Bluetooth. there are people back waiting for you to shut your pie-hole and order. Are you really that important Ms. Jungle print? Nah, I didn't think so...

Now let's move on to that toothpick you are working. I have no fucking idea what it is you are trying to pry loose, but from the sucking sounds, I am guessing an Antelope leg that you came across while foraging. You certainly didn't run it down based on the back fat spilling out over your damned bag!

Have you not been to a coffee shop in this decade? It's coffee, either drip or espresso. A few things added if you like, but why the hell are you asking the minimum wage drone to explain it all down to the fucking molecular level!?!

Ok, I am better now. I have my coffee, I have vented, and all is good.

Let's Review Some Interesting Facts About Balloons and Gas!

Very odd instructional video on how to be a balloon employee. I did learn that it is important to curtsy though...

Monday Morning Madness

Back to work after a great weekend, and I have too many things to post that have been sent my way. So instead of any sort of theme, how about "I'll take potpourri for 500 Alex"?

I hope some of these get you off to work with a smile on your face:





I just love this!


Mom must certainly be proud.


I always knew cows would someday rise to take over the world!


The first cleaning is always a good time for a family photo op.


It's time for your cleansing Mr Smith.


Yep. Kind of...


Answers the age old question.


Must be some damn good gum.



He he he.


I guess if you run out of gum.



Well, it is a pretty damn good stick!


Teaching little girls that they too can grow up to be hotel maids!



Yeah, everybody uses Facebook!!

November 22, 1963

I remember that I was in first grade and our teacher was crying. We really didn't understand what was going on, only that the president had been shot. I think that most of us thought that it was like a TV show, where they just patch it up and it's OK.

Lots of theory's and plenty of footage exists, but I thought this was a good synopsis. From National geographic:
On Nov. 22, 1963, hundreds of hours of TV news, radio reports, and home movies captured history as it was chaotically unfolding.

The Lost JFK Tapes: The Assassination : MON NOV 23 9P et/pt : http://channel.nationalgeographic.com...